Pedantocracy: Not Switzerland

(Geneva, Switz.) - In a continueing effort to make my blog a little (marginally) more amusing to my understimulated little sister, I bring you a series of recent e-correspondence with the frequent flyer desk of Continental Airlines. If you are looking for commentary on travels through far-off and exotic lands, you will want to come back next week. Below, I am trying to get credit for the frequency flyer mileage on trips I took before I became a FF member. The web site says getting such credit is not a problem. Just email the OnePass Center. That is how it got started....

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From:
Sent: 23 Feb 02 12:51:05
To: peter.armitage@physics.unige.ch

Thank you for contacting the OnePass Service Center.

You may receive mileage credit for Continental operated flights taken up to 30 days prior to your enrollment date free of charge. You may also receive mileage credit for flights taken between 31 days and 6 months prior to enrollment for a $25 USD service fee. Please mail a copy of all ticket receipts and the original boarding passes from your Continental flight(s) to:

OnePass Service Center
P. O. Box 4365
Houston, TX 77210-4365

Dan Boufenik
OnePass Service Center
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> From: peter.armitage@physics.unige.ch
> Sent: 23 Feb 05 12:51:05
> To:
> Cc:
> Subject: RE: Online Missing Mileage Credit Request
>
> Thank you for your reply. Do I have to have all ticket stubs from all legs of a trip that happened more than 30 days before my enrollment to get the credit for it?
>
>-Peter Armitage
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At 18:49 24.02.2005, you wrote:

Thank you for contacting the OnePass Service Center.

You must have all the information needed to process your request.

Dan Boufenik
OnePass Service Center
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> From: peter.armitage@physics.unige.ch
> Sent: 23 Feb 05 12:51:05
> To:
> Cc:
> Subject: RE: Online Missing Mileage Credit Request
>
> Thank you for your reply. I am wondering what them minimum information need to process my request is. Do I need all the original ticket stubs from all legs of the trip?
>-Peter Armitage
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At 23:59 23.02.2005, Onepass@coair.com wrote:
>Thank you for contacting the OnePass Service Center.
>
>You may try to send all the documentation needed to post the miles to your account.
>
>Dan Boufenik
>OnePass Service Center
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From: peter.armitage@physics.unige.ch
Sent: 23 Feb 05 17:20:38
To:
Cc:
Subject: RE: Online Missing Mileage Credit Request

Again thank you for your reply, but what I am wondering is exactly this. Is part of the documention needed ALL ticket stubs from ALL legs of a trip. Do I have to have all ticket stubs from all legs of a trip?

-Peter Armitage
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At 02:52 24.02.2005, Onepass@coair.com wrote:
>Thank you for contacting the OnePass Service Center.
>
>The documentation needed to post the miles to your account is the documentation necessary to post miles to that account.
>
>Dan Boufenik
>OnePass Service Center
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Again, thank you... However, I understand that I "must have the information that is needed". That is clear. However, what I am asking is... What is this information that is needed?

What exactly is the minimum information needed? Do I need the actual ticket stubs for all legs of the trip that I took? Is one ticket stub OK? Or do I need them all? And if I no longer have the ticket stubs, can I simply send in a copy of my printed out receipt for when I bought the tickets?

-Peter Armitage
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From:
To: peter.armitage@physics.unige.ch

Thank you for contacting the OnePass Service Center.

You may receive mileage credit for Continental operated flights taken up to 30 days prior to your enrollment date free of charge. You may also receive mileage credit for flights taken between 31 days and 6 months prior to enrollment for a $25 USD service fee. Please mail a copy of all ticket receipts and the original boarding passes from your Continental flight(s) to:

OnePass Service Center
P. O. Box 4365
Houston, TX 77210-4365

Dan Boufenik
OnePass Service Center
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Dear Dan (can I call you Dan?... If feel like we know each other),

Will ya throw me a bone here and please answer my question? Seriously, you are being seriously retarded. Don't make me come to Houston and kick your ass. Seriously.

XOXOXOXOXO,

Peter
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No reply yet from Dan. I will keep y'all updated.

Apologies to Mike Jones (not the one in Culver City)

(Eugene, OR and Boston, MA) - I have been acused of being overly verbose in the reporting of my "boring ass blog." So here I give you M'aam, just the facts.

-The number of universities I have visited in the US this week: 2
-The number I visit in the US next month: 2
-The chances I give myself of finding a job this time around: 50/50
-The time difference between Geneva Switzerland and Eugene OR: 9
-The amount of hours less than would put it completely on the other side of world: 3
-The number of seperate connecting flight I will have had in 7 days since I left Geneva one week ago: 9
-The number of bad airplane meals I have had: 9
-The number of first class upgrades I have asked for: 2
-The number of times it has worked: 0
-The number of times I have tried to talk my way into the Continental's Presidents Club Lounge as 'Norman Armitage': 3
-The number of times it has worked: 0
-The last time I got 'somethingfornothing': 61 days ago
-The number of 'close talkers' I have set next to on various planes: 2
-The number of times I introduced myself to my seatmates, immediately upon sitting down, like I told Nicola I would: 0
-The number of times I wanted to talk or even make eye contact with my seatmates: 0
-The number of paunchy seat over-filling middle aged old men that smelled vaguely of Clavette or Gruyere whom I sat next to on the first leg of my journey: 1
-The number of showers I wish my seatmate on the flight out of Geneva had taken recently: at least 1.
-The number of supermodels I sat next to: 0
-The number of supermodels I have ever sat next to: 0
-The number of supermodels I have ever met: 0
-Number of my bags lost by United between Eugene and Boston: 1
-Number of bags I had: 1
-How long I expect it will take for said bag to be delivered to me in Geneva: Forever

-The number of times I have seen any anime film at all: 0
-The number of seperate 20 min spiels to faculty I have given about my future research this week: ~32
-How good I was at it by the end: very
-How tired of it was I by the end: very
-Number of voice boxes totally seized up so that I completely can't talk: 1
-The number of times I have ever lost my voice before: 0
-The number of days I have been a functional mute: 2
-The number of people who have said, "You don't have to yell at me!" when I croaked out a question through my schreetchy voice: 2
-The number of times I have protested, "Iuumm nottt yeellling... I juuusst can't talk!": 2
-The number of pairs of underwear more I wish I had packed: 2 maybe 3
-The number of petulant little sisters I have: amazingly only 1, but it seems like a 100.
-The number of relevant hits that comes up in a Google search for 'Alexandra Connell Princeton': 4
-Amount of time I spent looking for an online photo of her to post instead of 'fire ninjas': 2.5 minutes
-Number of online images I found: 0
-The number hits you have go down the list before finding a 'non-me' hit when doing a Google search on my name: 4
-The amount of good that does me: 0
-The number of times a week I google my own name: on a good week 1; on a bad week 3-4
-Hours still to kill in Logan airport before getting my flight to Newark: 3.5