The appearance of confidence is more important than its possession?

(Geneva, Switz.) - It is raining today and I needed to get out of my place. Not wanting to ride my bike in the rain nor lock it outside for a longtime I decided to take Geneva's much vaunted public transportation system to the city center to see what's doing on a Sunday afternoon.

I consult my map. I will take a bus. 'The 9.' 'The 9' will take me downtown. I leave my apartment and walk to the stop.

I walk around the corner and it's 'The 9.' 'The 9' rolls by. It is a big big bus. So big that it pivots in center and the back of the bus can be going in a different direction that the front. I have seen these buses. In town. Before.

I panic. The bus is stopped ahead. The right rear door is open. I run. It has been stopped for awhile and is about to leave. I run. I slide through the door as it closes and the bus pulls away from the curve. But wait. I haven't paid. I have no ticket. How did I get here? I should have bought a ticket at the machine at the bus stop and entered through the front of the bus and given my ticket. The bus driver should have noticed. He didn't. Why did he let me get away with this? He shouldn't have. I wasn't thinking. It was instinct. I am feeling guilty. I may get off the bus at the next stop.

Had I planned to gamely slip in through the doors as they closed moments before the bus pulled away as the busdriver looked to merge with traffic I wouldn't have been able to do it. I would have loitered. I would have been nervous. I would have screwed-it-up. I didn't. Now I am on the bus.

Channeling Machiavelli, Ron Suskind writes in today's NY Times magazine:

"(the) oft-cited line about the adequacy of the perception of power prompts a question. Is the appearance of confidence as important as its possession? Can confidence -- true confidence -- be willed?"

Not by me. For me, confidence -- true confidence -- comes from being blissfully unaware about what I'm doing.